A Letter to Congress

February 2, 2007

To: Senator Feinstein
Senator Boxer
Congressman Tom Lantos,

Since you claim to be my representatives to the Federal Government, please represent me by doing the following;

1. Cut off funding to the Iraq war. Bring all troops home and secure our borders and ports. We spend more per capita on defense, so defend us, not some other country.
2. Reduce the funding to the National Institutes of Health. Stop funding research. You get more research but no cures. Instead, offer a billion dollar prize for a cure for breast cancer or ovarian cancer.
3. Please, do not allow regulators to write laws. They are not my elected representatives.
4. Please, do not pass any legislation that reduces my liberty.
5. Please, eliminate the Department of Education.
6. Please, reduce government spending.
7. Please, reduce income taxes.
8. Please, decriminalize drugs. It is immoral that I, a 71 year old, cannot buy pain medicine on the weekend, or any other time, without permission. To do so would make me a felon.
9. Please, privatize health care. Keep government out. If you creat Universal Health Care, make sure congress and all government employees have the same coverage as the private sector.
10. Allow private companies like Federal Express and United Parcel Service to deliver letters to my mailbox.

Respectively,

Bilbo Baggins