Cohabitation more acceptable

"Marriage is an adventure, like going to war.” G. K. Chesterton

A story in USA Today on June 9, 2008 is about cohabitation becoming a more acceptable lifestyle in the United States. Cohabitation in the U. S. is around 10%, higher in other western countries, from 20% to 30%.

Why now? Why was this lifestyle not "acceptable" a hundred years ago? Does this mean that something that is unacceptable today, like drug use and prostitution, will be acceptable in the future?

Technology is the driving force behind change. People live longer and are exposed to more choices through technology that spreads ideas. Generation after generation used to live and die in the small village they were born, having never heard any different opinions than the ones they were taught by their family, priest, and neighbors. Technology increases the pace of change so that children and grandchildren are able to escape the psychological constraints that held their parents.

People like to say it is traditional to do this or that. But not all traditions make sense. For many generations slavery and human sacrifices were traditional. Atheism was unacceptable. Atheists were burned at the stake. We are in an era where traditions that are not in our best interest are quickly discarded.

I cohabited with a young woman in 1976. It was not accepted by my parents and many of my friends. It was frowned on by men my age group who were married, and some who had even been divorced. Why?

Marriage has been with humans only a brief time in humans' existence. A legal marriage is not a natural state between human animals. It is a business and religious arrangement.

One woman told me I was getting "it" for free. I wanted to ask her how much she charged her husband for "it", and if she thought of herself as a sex object since her sex was for sale.

I think some of the resistance to cohabitation was the religious aspect of marriage. I also think some of my male peers resented my good fortune, getting female companionship without having to give her half my wages and risking alimony and community property in a divorce.

Since men are staying single longer, look for states to enact legislation that will make property acquired during cohabitation as community property.

I think some resistance to any social change that benefits men is from what Pradeep Ramanathan calls Masculophobia. Ramanathan describes masculophobia as the fear, suspicion, and rejection, of maleness, of masculinity. It encompasses everything from the male-bashing that is so prevalent in today's society, to the feelings of being ashamed of one's maleness that many men have. http://www.ncfm.org/pradeep.html

Bilbo Baggins, single

More view cohabitation as acceptable choice By Sharon Jayson, USA TODAY June 9 2008

An analysis of cohabitation, marriage and divorce data from 13 countries, including the USA, shows that living together has become so mainstream that growing numbers of Americans view it as an alternative to marriage. The National Marriage Project study of a sampling of Western European and Scandinavian nations, Australia, Canada and New Zealand found that cohabitation elsewhere is far more common and indeed viewed as an option to matrimony. The study found that anywhere from 15% to 30% of all couples identified themselves as living together, compared with about 10% right now in the USA. http://www.usatoday.com/news/nation/2008-06-08-cohabitation-study_N.htm?csp=1