Divorce Laws

When I see the tragic news story of a man who killed his wife or children you can be sure he is being threatened with losing everything of value to him in a divorce proceeding. Men are under an illusion that if they get married they will be the alpha leader of the family. Instead they find out the State is the alpha leader of the family. The man has no power. The State has the power. The man finally realizes by a divorce he will lose his pride, dignity, assets, and children. The husband's wife will have her boyfriend sleeping in the husband's bed and the boyfriend will be sitting at the husband's dining table telling the husband's children what to do. This humiliation and denigration of the husband too often leads to violence as the husband sees his illusions destroyed.

The divorce laws in this country need to be changed, but, I doubt it will happen. The new divorce laws should be based on a simple pre marriage contract. This contract should be like any ordinary business contract between one or more partners. The contract will help eliminate illusions and fraud. Many people enter marriage with expectations that are not spoken aloud and have unrealistic expectations. Writing these expectations in a contract would help avoid conflict. Many people refuse to write these pre marriage contracts because they are afraid their illusions will be destroyed, which will destroy their happiness.

When people enter into a contract voluntarily they give up some power in the hope of receiving an equal or greater power. If the power is given voluntarily then it can be taken back. This often creates conflict when one person takes back power that was voluntarily given away. Anger and revenge takes hold of the party who now has lost power. All relationships are about power, power to look after self interest.

For child custody in a divorce the State should write a law that says if both parents cannot agree on custody then they must have an alternate custodian, another family member or friend to take custody of the children until the parents can agree on custody. During this period both parents must pay child support to the non parent custodian. If the parents cannot find an alternate custodian then the State will put the children in a temporary home. While in the temporary home both parents will pay child support and will have unlimited visitation privileges. As soon as the parents can agree on custody arrangements they can put those arrangements into place.

One option for child support is to require each person, male and female, upon reaching the age of 18 to buy an annuity or insurance policy for any potential child support. Sterile persons would be exempt. Another option would require parents, on the birth of a child, to buy a child support insurance policy in case of divorce. Parents could opt to buy an annuity to provide for child support in case of divorce or disability. The annuity and interest would be returned to the owners upon retirement if not used for child support in case of divorce or death. For persons who never have children the annuity would be returned at age 65 in the form of a pension.

Most women today get child custody in a divorce. Even in marriage women make most decisions about the children. Most men are willing to have joint custody. Men realize children need both parents. Mothers believe otherwise. Mothers are controlling when it comes to children and mothers think their love and devotion is enough to develop a child.

Too often sons and daughters of divorce take on the role of adults. Sons feel like they must become the protector. Daughters become amateur psychologists listening to their mother's complaints. Many boys who do not have a father who expects the boy to live up to his ancestors accomplishments, has an excuse to fail. Pride in lineage goes a long way towards motivating young people. With the breakdown in families this pride is diminished.

Most divorces today are caused by that master of human behavior, desire. Parents, mostly women, have a desire to be "happier". Men desire glory or to be a martyr. The human condition is such we are never satisfied and content. We always want more. Many women divorce so they can "find" themselves. They want to "grow". It is all about the self. Women live for hope and romance. Men live for glory. Too many will destroy a family simply to gain more pleasure.

As long as the State and divorce industry; lawyers, psychologists and judges, support this negative behavior, women will continue to ask for a divorce. When the parasites in the divorce industry see a marriage or birth announcement, they salivate because they see new customers for their business.

A few generations ago men and women had shorter lives so being married did not mean decades of living with the same person. With pre marriage contracts we can eliminate much of the conflict created by divorce. The pre marriage contracts will put many in the divorce industry out of work.

Captain Bilbo Baggins